Today was a busy day in class, with everyone angling to improve their Davita essays. I was very happy to have the multi-flow, root cause, uber-effect frame -- it worked for every person I helped except Fresa. Her topic is parenting, and her thesis is that each parent's life experiences influences their particular style, with varying outcomes on Ilana. We figured that she will write body paragraphs on each of the parents, discussing both causes and effects within each one.
Here's the peer-editing list, in case you need it tonight. Remember, you can hand in your essay either Thursday or Friday for full-credit; but after Friday at 3:10, 20% will be deducted from your score.
1. Read introductory paragraph.
2. Identify the thesis statement.
3. Circle the causes mentioned in the thesis.
4. Underline the effects mentioned in the thesis.
5. Before continuing your reading, check the topic sentences of each body paragraph – does each correspond to a cause or effect mentioned in the thesis?
6. Read the first body paragraph.
7. Identify the Points (P from PIE). Put a star by each P.
8. Identify the Illustrations. Underline each one.
9. Evaluate each Explanation – does the writer clearly explain how each illustration proves the topic sentence of the paragraph? Write +/check/- in the margin next to each E.
10. Repeat for each additional body paragraph.
11. Read the conclusion. Circle the section wherein the author explains the “So what?” of her/his argument. Does the author show how this topic connects to life?
12. Go back to the essay to help the writer with her/his particular question or concern. Talk together about it, and come up with a plan for the writer.
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